Growing Self-Love as an HSP

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Recently, I asked HSPs the question, “What is something loving you can say to yourself right now?” I found the answers to be so wonderful that I thought I would share them in this weeks post! As HSPs we have so much compassion and love for others and yet often struggle to give ourselves that same love. Perhaps some of these will help you this week.

  • Gisele: You are growing and I am proud of you!

  • Evvia: You were a good friend to them. It's ok to walk away. You'll be just fine.

  • Linda: Please be more gentle with yourself.

  • Amanda: You are finally learning to not take everything so seriously or feel the need to be a perfectionist or have everything lined up perfectly. You're doing great!

  • Bonnie: Good for you! Getting out in the fresh air is awesome!

  • Rebecca: You are doing the best you can, and you ARE doing well! It’s okay if it looks and feels different than you’d like or expected. It’s okay to be flexible and to slow your pace. You are right where you need to be. (Now go eat a cookie and take a bath!)

  • Amira: I made a delicious cheesecake yesterday while (and because) my kids were driving me crazy! Good job calming myself through something creative!

  • Karin: You are enough. You were always enough. If someone doesn't see your worth, it's not your problem.

  • Ellie: You did well today. Sleep well, you need your rest.

  • Saundra: It is ok to ask for help or not to get it all done right now. Relax and slow down beautiful lady!

  • Andrea: I am loved.

  • Sarah: You've come so far. I'm proud of you.

  • Maria: Progress not perfection.

  • MaryAnne: Relax and enjoy the present moment.

  • Joann: You're doing an awesome job, keep going it will get better!

  • Dagny: You are incredible and so strong!

  • Carol: I am enough.

  • Deka: You’ll be okay.

  • Cheryl: Great job lady!!!

  • Becky: You are perfect just the way you are, flaws & all. There’s only one you!

  • Caroline: I am enough.

  • Annalise: Give yourself a chance.

  • Vanessa: You are more than enough.

  • Jessie: I need alone time.

  • Jane: You've worked hard today...time to relax.

  • Julia: Take your time. Have some more tea.

  • Jasmin: It doesn‘t matter if it‘s Saturday night - If you wanna go to bed early and alone it‘s totally ok!

  • Mariah: You are trying.

  • Diane: You’re doing the best you can.

  • Silvia: I'm really phenomenal.

  • Lisa: Well done, keep it up!

  • Isabel: You can make mistakes and be great.

  • Sarah: Read your novel and get some sleep!

  • Keivan: I just said to myself you're amazing and you know it! When I was feeling down, and it was really beautiful and loving.

  • Tiffany: You see the potential in people.

  • Brenda: ”Good job showing up for work on a Saturday when you wanted to stay home and watch movies in front of the fire and drink cocoa and snack.”

How did it feel reading these from a group of HSPs? Which ones stood out to you? Which ones would you add? I recommend paying attention to your internal self-talk. Many of us can be pretty mean to ourselves if we aren’t careful. Start to notice. What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? What tone do you use?

Your brain believes what you tell it! So start saying loving, supportive and nurturing things to yourself even if you don’t truly believe them yet. You will begin to believe them over time if you keep this practice up every day. Wake up in the morning and tell yourself something loving. Start the day off with this loving, intentional space. Check in with yourself throughout the day and end in the night with more loving kindness toward self. You will start to feel the benefits if you stay consistent.  If you struggle with what to say, think about what you might say to someone else who needs love and kindness. We often find it quickly when we think about others.

You deserve to live your fullest life as an HSP and sometimes that just involves learning a few tools.  I’ve created some particularly supportive resources for HSPs and how we experience the world.

Parents of Sensitive Kids: Please take this survey. I'm excited to announce new research being done for parents / caregivers of Highly Sensitive Children. Dr. Esther Bergsma, who also works with Dr. Elaine Aron, has created this survey and asked me to be a coordinator for it so please take this survey to promote important research. It can be anonymous or you can leave your email if you want to learn the results.

I’ve been receiving the most amazing emails from HSPs about my newest book, The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person. I’m hearing things like: “It’s the first time I have an owner's manual to my HSP brain,” and several have called it “The HSP Bible”.  Start reading it now:

If you are struggling to be loving with yourself as an HSP, you are not alone. I love working on strengthening self-esteem in an HSP. I had to work on this myself and life is A LOT better when you feel good about yourself! Do you want to know how to live your best life too?  Your life could be so much better in just a few weeks. It’s why I created my brain training program for HSPs. Learn more: Or if you want to learn more Click Here to learn if my 8-week brain-training program is a good fit for you.

If you are not already subscribed to my HSP newsletter, I highly recommend it for weekly tools, tips, and support of our trait of high sensitivity.

My mission is to help empower and transform the lives of HSPs!  Your best self and full life are needed in the world.

~Julie Bjelland is an HSP psychotherapist and leader in the field of high sensitivity and has helped thousands of highly sensitive people around the world. As an HSP herself, Julie understands what it is like to live with high sensitivity and strong emotions. Julie teaches an online course for HSPs, is the author of several HSP books, and the proud mom of highly sensitive children and a house full of sensitive pets!

Julie Bjelland