HSPs: You Are Beautiful As You Are
I think highly sensitive people are some of the most beautiful, kind, and compassionate people in the world. We care so much for others and the world. We feel what others feel and will go out of our way to help. We will use up our entire energy tank for the day helping others. Why then are we so hard on ourselves? Why don’t we love ourselves more? Over and over again in the thousands of HSPs, I’ve worked with over the years I’ve seen something we seem to share in common all over the world. Highly sensitive people need to develop more self-love! We need to know how important we are in the world. You are needed as you are. Your sensitive self is needed in the world. Your sensitive self is what makes you care so much. Your sensitive self is what reaches out to support another. Let’s also remember that our sensitive self needs our own love and compassion too. Think about what your self-talk has sounded like lately? Was it loving and patient or was it hard on yourself, maybe even cruel? What words do you use when you feel you have made a mistake or let someone down?
I used to have a rotating script in my head that often said: “Why am I so sensitive and weak and fragile?” I had a narrative that something was wrong with me. I was able to change my story and I see that same narrative in the HSPs I work with every day. I know that the story can change. It’s essential that it does change. From this moment on, I want you to observe your self-talk. Your Insula in your brain, the seat of conscious awareness is more activated in an HSP than up to 80% of the population. Your level of consciousness is so naturally high that you can make changes very quickly once you set your mind to it. I see that every day too. When I used to work with both non-HSPs and HSPs, I often observed that HSPs could make movement faster than a non-HSP and I believe our unique experience of the Insula has to do with that. Let’s use it for our benefit. Bring to your awareness of how you speak to yourself. What language and tone are you using? Can you change that into a loving and supportive tone? Can you use words that sound nurturing and kind? Start to imagine feeling love and compassion for someone or something (like a pet) and envision bringing back some of that love and compassion toward yourself too. You get better at this with practice.
You were born this way as a strategy of the population to promote survival. The way your HSP brain is and the particular sensitivities you have are needed in the world. Where we go wrong is thinking we need to change and fit in with the majority. Please don’t change. We need you as you are. Let’s instead advocate for things to change to work FOR US.
For example, if you are working a 9-5 job five days a week, with a commute and children at home then in most cases that will be very difficult for an HSP to feel balanced. This is an example of where we shouldn’t have to change to fit in with 80% of the population. Instead, let’s create a life that works FOR us. I’ve done that and helped HSPs all over the world to do the same. When I finally realized my sensitivity was a gift that helps others in the world I knew I needed to support my needs in a way that cared for myself in a world that can feel chaotic. Ideally, I would love to live on open land that is peaceful, but instead, I live in a densely populated area. Because that can be hard on an HSP, I need to make adjustments. You can too. Maybe we work from home on some or all of the days or change the start time of work to avoid the commute. We also need to take breaks, live in balance, have healthy boundaries and reduce or eliminate toxic experiences and negative people. We live with intention.
When we begin to consciously and intentionally move in the direction that aligns with our needs we experience the joy of living in our balanced center. This can take time to make the changes needed, but it all begins with a mindset. We start with the belief that we are the way we are for a reason and that there is so much beauty in diversity. To read microexpressions that 80% of the population misses is one of the many gifts we carry. We also have more active brain mirror neurons which means we fire some of the same neurons as someone we are observing, which means we feel what others feel. This means we have loads of empathy. That is needed in the world! We have so much compassion and understanding for others, and that is a beautiful thing. That also means we can practice feeling that way about ourselves. Life transforms in a beautiful way when you can be a kind and compassionate friend to yourself.
In case you don’t know this right now, let me be the one to say to you, loud and clear…
We need your beautiful, sensitive self in the world. We need you to love and cherish yourself. We need you to advocate for your needs and preserve your precious energy and share it only intentionally and by choice. We need you to live in a way that honors YOU. We need you living in alignment with your center and loving who you are and what you offer the world.
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~Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist, global HSP consultant, and leader in the field of high sensitivity and has helped thousands of highly sensitive people around the world. As an HSP herself, Julie understands what it is like to live with high sensitivity and strong emotions. Julie teaches an online course for HSPs and is the author of several books. www.juliebjelland.com.