Sensitive and Neurodivergent: Redefining Needs as Self-Care, Not Inconvenience
For sensitive and neurodivergent people, acknowledging and honoring personal needs can feel challenging, especially in a world that often labels these needs as “too much.” Many of us have been conditioned to view our requirements for peace, quiet, or solitude as inconveniences to others, or worse, as flaws within ourselves. But what if we reframe these needs as essential acts of self-care rather than burdens?
Understanding Needs as Self-Care
Self-care goes beyond bubble baths and spa days; it’s about nourishing yourself in a way that lets you show up authentically and fully. For sensitive and neurodivergent individuals, needs often take unique forms—whether it’s a quiet space to retreat to, time alone after social events, or a carefully curated sensory environment. Recognizing these needs as essential to your well-being, rather than as things you “shouldn’t need,” is a powerful shift toward self-acceptance.
In honoring these needs, you’re not just meeting a preference; you’re actively choosing to take care of yourself. By reframing needs as self-care, you’re asserting that they’re not negotiable extras, but necessary elements of a life that respects your mental and emotional health.
Releasing the “Too Much” Mindset
Sensitive and neurodivergent individuals are often labeled as “too much”—too sensitive, too quiet, too intense, or too withdrawn. These labels can feel isolating, leading us to second-guess our needs or suppress them to “fit in.” However, the reality is that these unique needs don’t make us weak or inconvenient; they make us human.
Letting go of this mindset can be transformative. Imagine seeing your needs the way you would a friend’s: would you judge them for needing rest or quiet time? Likely not—you’d probably encourage them to take care of themselves. You deserve that same level of compassion.
Why Honoring Your Needs Benefits Others, Too
It’s natural to worry about how your needs might impact others, whether it’s taking a step back from social events or needing a bit more time to process information. But here’s the truth: when you honor your needs, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also bringing the best version of yourself into your relationships.
By meeting your needs, you’re less likely to experience overwhelm, burnout, or emotional distress. This doesn’t mean you’ll never have tough moments, but it does mean you’re better equipped to handle them. When you’re grounded and balanced, those around you experience your genuine, whole self rather than someone trying to “power through” at the expense of their well-being.
Practical Ways to Embrace Needs as Self-Care
Identify Your Unique Needs: Take time to reflect on what truly helps you feel grounded and balanced. Is it quiet time in the morning? Clear communication in social settings? Give yourself permission to identify and honor these needs.
Set Boundaries for Wellness: Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re not walls that shut people out; they’re loving guides that show others how to care for you while you care for them. Let people know, kindly and clearly, what helps you feel safe and comfortable. At first it might feel unfamiliar, but over time you’ll see that boundaries are acts of respect for both you and the relationship.
Create a Self-Care Plan: A proactive self-care plan can be incredibly empowering. List the things that help you recharge or prevent sensory overload. Make this a regular practice rather than something you do only in moments of crisis.
Challenge Self-Critical Thoughts: When you notice thoughts like “I’m too sensitive” or “Why can’t I handle this like others?” gently question them. Remember that the world wasn’t designed with sensitive and neurodivergent nervous systems in mind. Your needs are valid, and you deserve environments, rhythms, and accommodations that help you feel safe and well.
Connect with Others Who Understand: Being around those who respect and understand your needs is immensely powerful. Whether through support groups, online communities, or friendships with other sensitive or neurodivergent people, these connections help affirm that your needs are not only okay but celebrated.
Embracing Self-Care as Empowerment
Redefining your needs as self-care is an empowering step toward self-acceptance. It’s a reminder that you are worthy of care and compassion—not in spite of your needs, but because of them. In honoring yourself this way, you are practicing a radical form of self-love, one that acknowledges your unique perspective and strengths.
Sensitive and neurodivergent individuals bring a profound depth, empathy, and insight to the world. These qualities are worth nurturing, and so are you. Your needs are not an inconvenience; they are a testament to your commitment to living as your true self. Embrace them as the self-care they truly are.
If you’d appreciate deeper support, explore online courses that gently guide you in nurturing your sensitive nervous system
I’m Julie Bjelland, LMFT
A psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment. I specialize in high sensitivity and adult-discovered autism. My passion is helping you live with more self-love and self-compassion and flourish more fully in the world. I’ve developed tools to balance the sensitive nervous system and reduce challenges so you can reach your fullest potential. My global support hub includes online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community, a top-ranked podcast, articles, webinars, and more. I’m a proud neurodivergent and queer therapist, and my mission is to create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. I look forward to supporting your journey. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com
Embrace your unique needs as essential self-care, not an inconvenience—because honoring them empowers you to thrive authentically.