Taking a Quiet Day Before and After Things That Drain Energy: The Tool Every HSP Needs

I woke up with a migraine after a fun (and emotional) day and am now in a day of recovery mode.  Because I have learned how to practice fierce self-care now, I know what helps me recover and get back on track the fastest. I like to share examples of how being highest on the sensitivity scale as an HSP Empath means I will sometimes have times where even fun days can be draining and create a need for recovery and that we need to normalize that as Sensitive Empaths. 

I know I used to feel like something was wrong with me when I witnessed people around me seeming to recover so much faster or be able to bounce back and not need days of rest and recovery. That mindset made me feel like something was wrong with me which magnified the problem and caused an even longer recovery!  (Sound familiar?)  Plus, if we don't normalize this we often push through and minimize our need for recovery, which usually means we aren't ok for an even longer period of time. 

I knew I would need a recovery day because I've learned a lot about myself. I'm a highly emotional person too so I feel everything deeply.  There are many things that can drain my energy and I no longer let the mindset of "something is wrong with me" take any more energy. After years of personal work, I have learned how to accept who I am and use my energy to get to know what works for me, rather than waste it being hard on myself anymore.  Yay! I know so many of you are also making that shift.

One of the conscious tools we need in our toolbox is to recognize the need for storing up and protecting our energy and one way to do that is to plan for times we know our energy will be drained.  We have been learning about how incredibly different our experience of the world is when we have energy drained out of us versus when we keep it maintained and more in balance.  Learning that is what keeps me conscious and intentional about taking a day of rest before and after things I know will be draining for me, even if they are fun. 

Now I advocate for the following...

1. A day of quiet and rest to store up my energy for the day that I know will be draining.

2. Plus, a full day of rest and recovery after with no plans so I can fully rest if I need it.

When I do this I recover faster. So when I woke up with the migraine I let myself rest. I didn't have high expectations of myself like I used to and I knew that I would recover soon with some care. I took a nice bath, put an eye mask on to block out the light, rubbed some eucalyptus on my head, and practiced some loving kindness and stillness until it passed.  I feel tired and know that is just a part of my body needing more time so I'm not having expectations of myself. I knew I would be better soon. I know myself now because I've practiced a lot of trial and error over the years to find what works and what doesn't.  I hadn't even had a migraine for so long and I used to have them often. I've learned that there are things I can do for my wellness and protecting my energy is a big part of that. 

I use this knowledge in everything I do. For example, when I spend the weekend with my friends, I've requested to drive myself and have my own room with a door that closes. Many of the friends going can all bunk in one open room together and love it, but I know that as much fun as that sounds, I will enjoy the weekend more and preserve my energy better if I'm giving myself that quiet in between the fun.  I used to push myself to be with everyone all the time because it was fun but end up with a much longer recovery time. 

We have the ability to make our own choices and advocate for our needs as HSPs and doing what is right for us is the right thing to do.  

So let's normalize storing up energy and preserving it! It's an empowered way to live a conscious, fulfilling life as an HSP.  

Here are some things that members of my Sensitive Empowerment shared about storing and preserving energy. What comes up for you reading all of this? ❤️

• I really identify with this and I appreciate you sharing your own experience! Especially as a kid I used to think that since I couldn’t do it “right” like other people could and I needed time to recover afterwards that maybe I didn’t like it or maybe I just wasn’t meant to have friendships/experiences like that. The idea of whatever the hang out was always sounded like so much fun, but then I would feel like I couldn’t do it. I remember sleepovers, in particular, were really difficult and I almost always ended up asking my mom to come to pick me up. It is soo validating and so comforting knowing now that I’m not alone and it’s an HSP thing and it is okay! I had not realized really that I sometimes keep myself from doing things due to this and feeling like I can’t do it “right” or I’m going to disappoint people. This was a really good insight to have so thank you again.
  
  Now, I have gotten a lot better at asking for what I need and taking the time for me. Also, funnily enough, I had a migraine yesterday! I got it while I was at work. I didn’t know what to do because a lot was going on and I didn’t want to leave in the middle. I get visual auras that last about 10-20 mins. If I don’t take care of myself right away when I get one, I sometimes get a second aura right after. Yesterday, I didn’t end up taking care of myself right away and stayed at work and I actually got 3 auras in a row which I’ve never had happen before! After the second aura, I realized I really needed to just go home, so I did. I got the third on my way home, and I am so glad I did choose to go home and rest. I felt so much better being in my quiet, dark room and taking care of myself. I didn’t get another aura after that and I felt a lot better. Today I’ve also just been taking it easy and relaxing ☺️

• Thank you for this post. I have spent the last 3 days running and doing for everyone else and today I feel like I am losing my mind. This insight will help me look into my crystal ball and plan time for myself so I can avoid this experience going forward.

• I have really learned to have this storing up and preserving of energy in and around having to travel and attend things.  It really does make a difference in how I'm able to manage things the more prepared I am in this way.

• I am inspired that you have such a fierce boundary within yourself that you will not engage with the mindset “there is something wrong with me”. This is such a beautiful example of self-love it is leaping off the page at me. After reading your share of how you cared for yourself today ( and upcoming this weekend) I feel that I can finally, through experimenting, have my own firm boundary around a defeating/energy wasting mindset of my own that likes to boss me around in regards to creativity. So a little different zone than energy-preserving as we are discussing here, but still really applies. Then as you mention at the end, we have the ability to make our own choices, such a great reminder!! Sometimes it seems the unhelpful mindset has the power and I forget I am ultimately the chooser. Thank you again for sharing your real-life experience, I hope you are enjoying a quiet cozy evening.

• I find it interesting you should post this today Julie. I was actually thinking of you earlier today. I have several things I could be doing but I've chosen not too. I remember you saying that the day before something big or the day after it’s good to have down days. That is today. Before being in this group I didn't know about conserving my energy or giving myself rest & compassion. Now I know that doing nothing is doing something!! 😊

• I would try and help people and then feel so drained afterward. It feels uncomfortable to practice self compassion but I am doing it anyways. 

• Oh, you have no idea how utterly wonderful this post is! I'm still surprised by how completely drained and exhausted I am after a session of work. I'm scheduling more quiet time, opting out of some things, but I still, find it frustrating just how drained I get. It's really good to know I'm not alone in this, and as an HSP empath at the very highest end of sensitivity, it's absolutely understandable that intense sessions of information and sensory overload will drain me! When this happens only rest helps. Thanks so much for the reminder ❤

• Practicing validation and compassion made all the difference in recovering from a difficult event. Yesterday I practiced self compassion by slowing down even though it was a workday. I did not take on anything extra and retreated to bed very early to rest. 

• I am thankful for your post. I definitely feel drained after certain events and I was glad that you also mentioned fun events! I was proud of myself today. I returned to partial face-to-face classes (it is actually hybrid as I still teach some on Zoom). However, the return to the physical classrooms and talking to other colleagues left me rather exhausted. Just getting home and taking a shower helped me feel a little refreshed! I did not try to overstimulate myself with sweets and just accepted that I was tired. Turning to an activity like a shower was more refreshing and will help me think more clearly tomorrow!

• I really love how we can all share the times where we took the days of rest we needed versus the days that we wish that we had taken more time. It took me a long time to understand that we need this personal time not just from those who drain our energy most, but also from those who love and support us the most. I used to feel like I needed to people please those who supported me. Having the right language to express and advocate is KEY! 🗝❤️

• I'm learning this in a big way, Julie. It's a deliberate choice because I am used to trying to do what's normal for others. And it takes courage to do what's healthy for me and I'm learning to take more and more quiet, self loving steps to establishing healthy boundaries and to take care of myself. Thanks for sharing this!

• I can relate so much to this. I had an eventful day and am still recovering. It's so easy to feel like we are different in a bad way when even fun is draining, so I really appreciate you being transparent with us and reminding us that feeling like something is wrong with us just contributes to the energy drain. 💕 Thanks again!

• I can really relate to what everyone has said about feeling drained, even after fun events. I never understood why I needed downtime and others didn't, until finding out I was an HSP.  What a gift to know I have this trait so I can apply the proper self-care. Thanks so much for always reminding us that our needs are different and that's okay! 

• This came at such a good time, thank you, Julie. This post reminded me that there are so many things that I can do to lighten the load - just little things like making sure I drive so I can leave when it feels right, having some real downtime in between, and being really organized in advance. I've also taken a day off work after one long weekend just to have one day to really rest/recuperate. I will keep brainstorming things that I can bring in that will just support my nervous system even more during this time.

It’s amazing how particular types of self-care can make a huge difference for us! Part of the magic of the Sensitive Empowerment Community is that we normalize and validate our experiences and we inspire each other with ideas! I invite you to join this private community of HSPs all over the world dedicated to growth and empowerment. It’s been called life-changing, life-transforming, and “like coming home”. We have so many tools to teach you that can help you feel better than you ever thought possible.

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Julie offers multiple essential resources for educating, inspiring, and empowering HSPs.

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