Survey Results: Perimenopause and Menopause in Sensitive and Neurodivergent Women by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

A Survey Report and Community Resource (September 2025)

Introduction: Why This Matters

Sensitive and neurodivergent women often experience life transitions in uniquely intense ways. Our nervous systems are finely tuned, more responsive to subtle shifts in the environment, and more easily overwhelmed by stressors that others may overlook. While these traits bring deep gifts such as intuition, empathy, and creativity, they also create particular challenges when the body undergoes significant hormonal change.

Perimenopause and menopause represent one of the most profound biological transitions in a woman’s life. Despite this, it remains under-researched, under-discussed, and often minimized by both the medical system and society at large. Women are frequently told that their struggles are simply “normal aging” or are dismissed with the suggestion to “push through.” For sensitive and neurodivergent women who are already accustomed to having their experiences invalidated, this dismissal can be particularly painful and damaging.

In September 2025, we conducted a survey of sensitive and neurodivergent women to better understand their experiences of perimenopause and menopause. The findings revealed striking patterns: high percentages across many categories, significant overlaps between symptoms, and a clear call for validation and support. This report presents the findings in detail, highlighting both the data and the lived voices of women. It is structured to function as both a research-style report and a community resource, ensuring women feel seen while also offering recommendations for healthcare providers, therapists, and individuals themselves.

Method and Scope

The survey was conducted within a community of women who self-identified as sensitive and/or neurodivergent, many of whom are late-discovered autistic women.

The percentages presented indicate the proportion of women who reported each symptom. For example, if eighty percent reported heightened sensory sensitivities, that means four out of five sensitive and neurodivergent women in this survey were living with increased reactivity to light, sound, smell, or other sensory input during perimenopause or menopause.

Participants ranged in age from their late 30s through their 60s, with the majority falling in the early 40s to mid-50s range. This reflects both the typical window for perimenopause and menopause, as well as the reality that some women begin experiencing symptoms earlier and others continue to experience them well past the average age of menopause.

This data is qualitative and community-driven. Its strength lies in the patterns of shared experiences it reveals.

Physical Symptoms

Exhaustion and Fatigue

Eighty-four percent of women reported exhaustion. This was the most common symptom reported across all categories. Women described exhaustion not as ordinary tiredness but as a bone-deep fatigue that impacted every aspect of life. Many noted that it was not relieved by sleep and that it left them unable to function at work, in relationships, or even in daily tasks.

One participant shared: “I used to manage a career and household with energy. Now I collapse by mid-afternoon, unable to continue. Even simple tasks drain me.”

Patterns: Exhaustion was strongly connected to sleep disturbances, brain fog, and sensory overwhelm. When exhaustion deepened, women were more likely to report meltdowns, irritability, and shutdowns.

Hot Flashes and Temperature Changes

Sixty-four percent reported hot flashes or unpredictable changes in body temperature. Sensitive women described these as disorienting, overwhelming, and difficult to regulate.

“When the heat rushes through me, it feels unbearable. My whole body reacts as if it is in danger, and I panic,” one woman explained.

Pattern: Hot flashes often triggered anxiety and panic attacks in women with heightened interoception.

Palpitations and Body Changes

Sixty-seven percent reported palpitations, bloating, or irregular cycles. For sensitive women with strong interoceptive awareness, these changes were felt with heightened intensity. Many described being unsure whether their symptoms were normal menopause or signs of something serious, leading to increased anxiety.

Pattern: Palpitations often overlapped with panic attacks, while bloating and body changes intersected with identity struggles and body image concerns.

Sleep Disturbances

Forty-seven percent reported disrupted sleep, including difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early. This compounded fatigue, anxiety, and cognitive struggles.

“I wake drenched in sweat and my mind spins for hours. By morning, I am already depleted,” one woman shared.

Pattern: Sleep loss amplified nearly every other symptom, especially exhaustion, brain fog, and irritability.

Weight Changes

Forty-two percent reported weight gain or shifts in body composition. For many, this triggered distress, frustration, or shame, especially when compounded by sensory discomfort with clothing.

Joint Pain and Muscle Aches

Thirty-six percent reported joint pain, stiffness, or muscle aches. For women who relied on walking, yoga, or movement to regulate their nervous systems, physical pain became another barrier to self-care.

Emotional Regulation and Mental Health

Mood Swings and Rage

Seventy-two percent reported mood swings, rage, or emotional outbursts. Women described this as one of the most frightening changes, especially for those who had previously been calm.

“I was always known for my patience. Now I shout in ways that scare even me,” one participant shared.

Pattern: Rage often appeared after periods of exhaustion and sensory overwhelm, suggesting a cumulative effect.

Anxiety and Overwhelm

Sixty-nine percent reported heightened anxiety. Many described new patterns of anxiety, while others felt their lifelong anxiety worsen.

Pattern: Anxiety was often linked to both physical symptoms (palpitations, hot flashes) and cognitive symptoms (brain fog, forgetfulness).

Shutdowns and Withdrawals

Fifty-four percent reported shutdowns, describing the need to retreat or feeling as if their systems had “gone offline.”

Pattern: Shutdowns often followed episodes of sensory overload and rage, representing the body’s last resort for survival.

Depression and Low Mood

Forty-eight percent reported depression or persistent low mood. Women described this as heaviness, emptiness, or disconnection rather than classic depression.

“I feel like I have lost the spark that used to keep me going,” one wrote.

Loss of Motivation

Thirty-nine percent reported loss of motivation. This was often connected to executive functioning struggles and a sense of futility.

Panic Attacks

Twenty-seven percent reported panic attacks, often triggered by palpitations, hot flashes, or overwhelming sensory experiences.

Cognitive Impacts

Brain Fog

Seventy-eight percent reported brain fog or memory difficulties. This was one of the most consistent findings, and it deeply affected women’s sense of competence.

“I lose track of conversations. I forget words. I feel like I have lost my sharpness,” a participant explained.

Pattern: Brain fog frequently overlapped with exhaustion and identity loss.

Concentration and Focus

Sixty-two percent reported difficulty concentrating. Tasks once simple became overwhelming, requiring external supports like lists and alarms.

Word-Finding Difficulties

Forty-one percent reported difficulty retrieving words. Women described feeling embarrassed and ashamed when unable to find words in conversation.

Processing Speed Decline

Thirty-two percent reported slower processing speed. For women in demanding work environments, this was especially stressful.

Sensory Changes

Heightened Sensitivities

Eighty percent reported worsening sensitivities to light, sound, smell, or touch.

“The hum of a refrigerator feels unbearable. I cannot tolerate crowds. I feel raw to the world,” one woman explained.

Sensory Overload

Fifty-nine percent reported frequent sensory overload leading to meltdowns or withdrawal.

Pattern: Sensory overload was strongly linked to rage, shutdowns, and exhaustion.

Tinnitus and Hearing Changes

Twenty-nine percent reported tinnitus or changes in hearing, which added to sensory distress.

Skin Sensitivity

Thirty-three percent reported skin changes, including itching and irritation, which often made clothing uncomfortable.

Identity and Relational Impacts

Loss of Confidence

Sixty-three percent reported a decline in confidence. Many questioned their abilities at work and in family roles.

Identity Crisis

Fifty-one percent reported questioning their role or sense of self. This was particularly intense for late-discovered autistic women, who were already undergoing identity shifts.

“Who am I without my sharp mind, my patience, my energy?” one participant asked.

Relationship Strain

Forty-four percent reported strain in relationships. Partners often misinterpreted withdrawal, irritability, or loss of desire as rejection.

Loss of Libido

Thirty-seven percent reported loss of sexual desire, describing it as a painful disconnect rather than indifference.

Patterns Across Symptoms

The most powerful finding was the interconnectedness of symptoms.

• Exhaustion was the central hub. Women who reported exhaustion nearly always reported brain fog, sensory overload, and mood instability.

• Sensory sensitivity and emotional regulation were intertwined. Sensory overload often led to rage, meltdowns, or shutdowns.

• Identity loss grew from cognitive and physical symptoms. Brain fog, exhaustion, weight changes, and loss of libido all fed into identity struggles.

• Sleep disturbance amplified everything. Women with poor sleep reported higher rates of anxiety, depression, and rage.

• Body changes and intimacy were connected. Palpitations, hot flashes, joint pain, weight gain, and skin sensitivity all affected confidence and relationships.

These patterns suggest that perimenopause and menopause in sensitive and neurodivergent women are not simply collections of individual symptoms. They represent system-wide nervous system changes that touch every layer of life: body, mind, identity, and relationship.

Community Voices

• “I feel like a stranger in my own body.”

• “Everything I knew about myself — my competence, my resilience — feels gone.”

• “Doctors tell me it is normal aging, but they do not see how extreme it is for me.”

• “I need more recovery time than ever, but I feel guilty taking it.”

These voices add depth to the numbers. They remind us that behind every percentage is a life being reshaped.

Recommendations

For Healthcare Providers

• Validate experiences without dismissal.

• Recognize the intensity of symptoms in sensitive and neurodivergent women.

• Consider hormonal, neurological, and sensory interactions in care.

• Offer individualized treatments including HRT, nervous system supports, and lifestyle interventions.

For Therapists and Coaches

• Support identity shifts with compassion.

• Normalize rage, shutdowns, and meltdowns as nervous system responses.

• Provide tools for regulation that respect sensitivity: grounding, sensory breaks, pacing, and nature connection.

For Women Themselves

• Know you are not alone. The data shows clear patterns.

• Rest is not weakness, it is survival.

• Build supportive community.

• Practice gentle nervous system care: sensory-friendly spaces, boundaries, pacing, and connection with nature.

Symptom Checklist with Percentages (Highest to Lowest, by Category)

Emotional Regulation

• 87% reported feeling overwhelmed

• 84% reported anxiety

• 72% reported mood swings, irritability, or rage

• 71% reported low mood or depression

• 63% reported loss of confidence

• 61% reported heightened rejection sensitivity

• 54% reported grief about identity or late discovery of neurodivergence

• 51% reported tearfulness

• 45% reported anger or rage at an intensity that felt out of character

• 45% reported emotional numbness or flatness

• 48% reported depression or persistent low mood (emotional category, phrased differently by some respondents)

• 39% reported loss of motivation

• 27% reported panic attacks

• 25% reported panic attacks (some overlap in reporting styles)

Energy and Sleep

• 84% reported exhaustion and fatigue

• 82% reported burnout or lower energy

• 76% reported longer recovery after social interaction

• 68% reported waking often during the night

• 67% reported lower tolerance

• 66% reported non-restorative sleep

• 61% reported increased irritability (fatigue-linked)

• 48% reported increased energy crashes

• 47% reported chronic fatigue

• 47% reported feeling wired but tired

• 47% reported sleep disturbances such as difficulty falling or staying asleep

• 43% reported early morning waking

• 35% reported restless legs or nighttime restlessness

Cognitive and Executive Function

• 78% reported brain fog

• 73% reported reduced ability to mask or perform

• 71% reported brain fog (cognitive category wording)

• 70% reported word-finding problems

• 63% reported forgetfulness

• 62% reported trouble concentrating

• 61% reported increased distractibility

• 59% reported slower thinking speed

• 55% reported trouble multitasking

• 46% reported feeling mentally “frozen”

• 41% reported word-finding difficulties (slightly different wording)

• 37% reported losing track of routines

• 32% reported slower processing speed

Sensory System

• 80% reported worsening sensitivities to light, sound, smell, or other sensory input

• 59% reported sensory overload leading to meltdowns or withdrawal

• 51% reported dry eyes

• 43% reported itchy or crawling skin

• 39% reported ringing in the ears (tinnitus)

• 33% reported heightened skin sensitivity

• 31% reported tingling or pins and needles

• 29% reported tinnitus and hearing changes

• 27% reported dry mouth

• 23% reported cold flushes or chills

Physical Body

• 67% reported strong awareness of body changes such as palpitations or bloating

• 64% reported hot flashes or temperature changes

• 61% reported weight gain, especially around the belly

• 57% reported hair thinning or loss

• 57% reported night sweats

• 55% reported digestive changes such as constipation, diarrhea, or reflux

• 54% reported joint pain

• 51% reported vaginal dryness or discomfort

• 47% reported joint stiffness

• 43% reported muscle aches

• 42% reported vision changes

• 40% reported facial hair growth

• 39% reported heart palpitations (often benign but distressing)

• 39% reported headaches

• 39% reported changes in balance or dizziness

• 38% reported bladder changes such as urgency, leakage, or infections

• 31% reported body odor changes

• 30% reported gum sensitivity or dental issues

• 29% reported migraines

• 27% reported new or worsened allergies

• 24% reported brittle nails

• 23% reported tender or sore breasts

• 21% reported water retention or swelling

• 19% reported bone density loss

• 18% reported frozen shoulder or restricted mobility

• 18% reported osteoporosis risk

• 17% reported increased cardiovascular risk

Social and Identity

• 62% reported trouble explaining symptoms to others

• 62% reported increased loneliness

• 61% reported fear of being judged as lazy or weak

• 57% reported identity shifts such as questioning “Who am I without the energy to mask?”

• 52% reported shame from forgetfulness or mistakes

• 51% reported questioning identity or role in society (identity crisis)

• 49% reported loss of professional confidence

• 47% reported feeling invisible or dismissed socially

• 45% reported feeling invalidated by doctors

• 42% reported overwhelm at medical appointments

• 44% reported strain in relationships

• 40% reported discovering autism during perimenopause or menopause

• 37% reported loss of libido

• 20% reported discovering ADHD during perimenopause or menopause

Risk and Systemic Factors

• 53% reported increased depression (risk and systemic category)

• 37% reported struggling to access care

• 34% reported feeling abandoned by the healthcare system

• 20% reported suicidal thoughts or ideation

Treatments and Supports Tried

• 77% reported using nervous system regulation tools such as breathwork, meditation, or sensory supports

• 75% reported lifestyle changes including exercise, diet, and stress management

• 67% reported therapy or counseling

• 31% reported medication for mood symptoms (SSRIs or SNRIs)

• 29% reported hormone replacement therapy with estrogen and progesterone

• 27% reported acupuncture or alternative therapies

• 19% reported support groups or community spaces

• 17% reported other hormone treatments

• 11% reported homeopathic remedies

• 6% reported hormone replacement therapy with estrogen only

• Under 10% reported supplements such as ashwagandha, magnesium, black cohosh, valerian

Closing Reflections

This survey makes visible what has been hidden: sensitive and neurodivergent women experience perimenopause and menopause with profound intensity. Every category — physical, emotional, cognitive, sensory, relational, and identity-based — showed significant impact.

The patterns are clear. Symptoms cluster and feed into one another. Exhaustion is central. Sensory sensitivity magnifies emotional struggles. Identity is reshaped through physical and cognitive changes.

By including all percentages we validate the full spectrum of experiences. What some may dismiss as “rare” is in fact lived by many.

This report is more than data. It is a call to awareness, validation, and action. Together, we can create a world where sensitive and neurodivergent women are supported through life’s most profound transitions — not only to survive them but to flourish within them.

Next Steps for Support and Connection

💜 You deserve validation, care, and tools to support your sensitive nervous system. If this report resonates with you, know that you are not alone.

Explore supportive next steps with me:

• 🌸 Sensitive Empowerment Community – connect with other sensitive and neurodivergent people in a safe, validating space. It includes a group for those of us discovering the sensitive autistic neurotype as adults.

• 🎙️ The Sensitive & Neurodivergent Podcast – join listeners in 191 countries for lived experiences, insights, and tools to thrive.

• 📚 Courses for those with a Sensitive Nervous System– discover practical tools to regulate your nervous system, reduce overwhelm, and flourish. JulieBjelland.com

• 🧩 Consultations and Autism Assessments – for women exploring or confirming the Sensitive Autistic Neurotype, I offer one-on-one consultations and full adult autism assessments.

• 🌿 Julie’s Favorite Products – Curated recommendations I personally use and love, including electrolytes, supplements, essential oils, calming devices, fidget tools, and more. This list also features trusted nutritional support for women in perimenopause and menopause, designed to ease symptoms and restore balance — with special discounts for you.

✨ Start with the step that feels right for you. Together, we can create a world where sensitive and neurodivergent women feel seen, validated, and empowered through every stage of life.

✍️ If you’d like to take the survey and haven’t yet, you can do so here

🌸 Please share this report with anyone who may need validation and support. If you do share, be sure to credit the source, Julie Bjelland, LMFT and my website: https://www.juliebjelland.com, so the survey stays connected to our sensitive and neurodivergent community.

About the Author

Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is a psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, a global support hub for sensitive and neurodivergent individuals. A highly sensitive, late-discovered autistic woman herself, Julie specializes in helping others embrace their sensitivity as a strength while navigating challenges such as sensory overload, anxiety, and midlife transitions. Through her courses, sensitive autistic neurotype assessments, podcast that reaches 191 countries, articles, and the Sensitive Empowerment Community, she offers practical tools to regulate the nervous system, build self-compassion, and flourish. Julie’s mission is to create a world where differences are celebrated and every sensitive and neurodivergent person feels seen, valued, and empowered. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

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