The Hidden Cost of Overriding Our Needs: How Sensory Self-Care Protects Our Energy and Well-Being by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Earlier today, a car alarm went off outside. My windows were open, so the sound came in sharp and loud.

I used to push through noises like that, assuming I should tolerate them like everyone else seemed to. I thought I was being strong by ignoring it.

What I didn’t realize back then was how much energy it took to endure something deeply uncomfortable in my nervous system.

I didn’t know that I was activating my fight-or-flight. I just knew I often felt irritated, flustered, or needed to escape.

Now, I reach for my noise-canceling headphones right away. I don’t hesitate. I don’t question whether I “should” be fine. I honor my sensory needs the moment they arise. And it makes a real difference.

When We Ignore Our Needs, We Drain Our Energy

Many of us were taught to push through discomfort.

We learned to hide our needs, to downplay our sensitivities, or to perform as if we were fine. Often, this came from a desire to be accepted, not to be “too much,” or to avoid making others uncomfortable.

But here’s what really happens:

• When we override our needs, we chip away at our energy reserve

• When we mask our discomfort, we ignore what our bodies are asking for

• When this becomes a habit, it can lead to burnout, shutdowns, emotional overwhelm, and health issues

Over time, we may begin to feel disconnected and both our mental and physical health impacted.

You are not the problem. You were simply never taught how to honor your needs in a world that expected you to ignore them.

Internalized Messages Can Make Us Doubt Ourselves

Many of us have absorbed messages like:

• “Everyone else is fine with this, so I should be too”

• “Don’t be dramatic”

• “It’s not that bad”

• “You’re too sensitive”

These messages are rooted in ableism and a narrow view of what’s “normal.”

They teach us to ignore our experiences and silence the very signals that are meant to guide us.

Your discomfort is not something to push through. It’s something to honor.

Sensory Needs Are Real Needs

Sensory care is not optional for many of us. It’s foundational.

Here are some ways we can honor those needs:

• Wearing noise-canceling headphones in loud spaces

• Using sunglasses or light filters when lighting is harsh

• Choosing soft, breathable clothing

• Saying no to overstimulating events

• Building in quiet time after intense days

• Using sensory tools or grounding practices

Even small acts of care can preserve energy and prevent overload. One moment of honoring your need can keep you within your window of tolerance for the rest of the day.

Think of Your Energy Like a Bank Account

Every time you ignore a need, it’s a withdrawal. Every time you meet a need, it’s a deposit.

If you keep withdrawing without replenishing, your energy becomes depleted.

This is how burnout begins.

But when you care for your nervous system, even in small, gentle ways, you start to build a more sustainable rhythm. You create space for joy, connection, and rest.

This isn’t about being fragile. It’s about being in tune with your body and honoring what it truly needs.

You Are Not Too Sensitive

You may have been told that you are too much or too sensitive.

You may have been praised for being adaptable or easygoing, even when that meant ignoring your discomfort.

But nothing is wrong with you.

You are someone who feels deeply, who notices what others miss, and whose nervous system processes the world in a unique and beautiful way.

When you begin honoring your needs instead of overriding them, you begin to trust yourself again.

You no longer need to perform in order to belong.

Let’s Reflect Together

Take a moment and ask yourself:

• What sensory discomfort do I often try to push through?

• What does it feel like in my body when I ignore it?

• What might change if I responded to that need right away?

This week, try experimenting…

Choose one moment when you typically push through, and see what happens when you respond instead with care, presence, and permission.

You are not overreacting; you are responding. You are not difficult. You are living in a world that is not set up for you.

You are someone who deserves to care for a sensitive nervous system.

Ready to stop pushing through and start honoring your needs?

If this article resonated with you, I invite you to take the next step in your healing.

1. Explore my self-paced course, Guide to Navigating Sensory Overload, for Sensitive & Neurodivergent Individuals: Reclaim Your Energy, Restore Your Calm, and Thrive, designed specifically for sensitive nervous systems.

2. Book a one-on-one consultation with me to receive personalized support on your sensory needs and burnout recovery.

3. Join our Sensitive Empowerment Community, where you’ll find a global space filled with connection, live events, shared experiences, and deep understanding.

You deserve support, tools, and connection that honor who you are.

Explore more resources at JulieBjelland.com

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment. She is known for developing innovative, easy-to-implement tools that help balance the sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and empower individuals to excel in their unique talents. Julie has created a global hub of support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary for sensitive and neurodivergent individuals—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. Her passion is helping to create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

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